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Seeing him after so many years makes me so scared that he might leave me again or better yet hurt me once again. I was so shocked when he called me last night.
“Hello?”
“It’s been a long time Jenna...”
I am so stupid! Five years has passed but still, his voice makes my heart flip.
“What do you want?”
“Is that how you greet a long-lost friend?”
Friend? After all this time is that all I am to him?
“Matt...Stop it... Seriously what do you want?”
“I’m coming back... Please say you’ll come 12:00 pm sharp in the airport...”
“You’re coming home?”
“If that’s how you’ll put it”
“But why me?”
“Because I want to tell you something...”
After those words, he hung up. But I was still standing there, heart pounding, trying to let my mind sink in everything that happened earlier.
And now I’m here at the airport, still trying to calm myself.
“Flight 201 is delayed for 30 minutes...”
Great, just great! Now my suffering will last longer. Will this ever end? I still remember that fateful day where my heart was crushed. Remember it as if it was yesterday.
Matt is my childhood friend, actually he’s older than me for about two years, then the unthinkable happened, I fell in love with him. I kept asking myself why and hid those feelings inside. I hurt every time he looks at me and let me feel that I’m just a friend and when he constantly treats me like his little sister. He had girlfriends and every time he has, I hurt.
I tried to forget him, really I did, but whenever he has problems he keeps running to me as if our fight never happened.
Then here came Marianne, the only girl he was ever serious about. One day I found out that Marianne was two-timing him. I tried to warn him but he didn’t listen, he just keeps on telling me to butt out, that’s when we fought. We actually didn’t speak for weeks considering he was my next door neighbor.
“Is there something wrong Jenna?” my mother asked.
“It’s about Matt...”
“I always thought you two make a nice couple...”
“Mom, he doesn’t...”
“But you do?”
“He doesn’t love me...” At that time I cried for him and most especially for myself, I swore to myself to stop loving him. I didn’t know that loving someone causes pain beyond compare.
But now I’m sitting here at the airport as if nothing has changed. Pretty ironic isn’t it?
I can still remember the day he left for Denmark, he wanted to see me but I refused, he insisted so I went to his house, unwillingly. He opened the door smiling at me like nothing happened and that made me angry, that made me shout at him.
“Matt, what are you playing at? Are you purposely making my life miserable or are you just plain dumb?”
He looked at me, with sadness in his eyes, like he was asking for understanding and that made me stop. He sighed then said:
“I broke up with Marianne...”
“I don’t care...”
“I said I broke up with her...”
“If that’s what you want me to know, then good, congratulations, now will you excuse me? I have better things to do than listen to rubbish.”
I was about to walk away when:
“You were right Jenna...”
“What did you say?”
“I said you were right, Marianne was two-timing me and I was too blind to see it, won’t you say I told you so?”
“I don’t state the obvious...”
“Jenna—“
“How would you like me to react, jump for joy and shout hallelujah or just rub everything in your face?” I said sarcastically.
“What’s the problem? Something is wrong...”
“So now you are running away? It isn’t like you Matt...”
“I have to forget her...”
“You’ll have to travel miles away to Denmark just to forget someone who has been lying to you the whole time?”
“What do you know about being hurt by the one you love, what I know is you have never loved anyone!”
“Why, do you know me Matt?”
“Love makes you blind and dumb enough to forgive them even though they’ve hurt you many times over. That you don’t know, so stop lecturing me as if you’ve become the love guru!!!”
“I was too blind for so long, and starting now I’ll not be stupid anymore! Go away if you must and never come back for all I care!”
“Jenna—“. Then I slammed the door at his face, letting the tears flow.
That was the last time I saw him, the last thing I heard that he was studying there and it’s been five years ever since.
I’ve had past relationships but then it’s as if my heart still belongs to him, and I hate myself for that. And now, why it is every time I think of it, tears still fail me.
“Flight 201 has arrived...” the speaker said.
I wiped away my tears and scolded myself for drowning in nostalgia. Stood up and there he was smiling at me. I looked at him unprepared for this, heart pounding. Five years has passed but he still is the same Matt when I last saw him. I walked nearing him but he’s still wearing that stupid smile on his face.
“Aren’t you going to hug me?” I did oblige but strangely though, he hugged me back as if he didn’t want to let go.
“So how are you?”
“Jenna, I want to apologize. The last time…”
“If that’s you want to say okay I accept you’re apology. Now I have to go”
“No... I don’t believe you, the last time you were too angry at me, and that is the reason I don’t believe that you’ll forgive me that easily.”
“Why can’t you believe it? Come on Matt, it’s been five years…I’m not stupid enough to hold on to that.”
“Jenna—“
“I’m too tired to argue. If that’s what you want from me, and if that’s the reason you came back, it’s so stupid and childish.”
“I went home because something is missing; remember the last time you told me that you don’t care whether I go back or not.”
“We were both angry that time, I said things; you said things, forget it, it was a long time ago.”
“Is that true? I don’t believe you. I called your mother before and she told me the truth...”
“What truth--? Wait a minute; you’ve been in touch with my mother?”
“That you were in love with me...”
I was so shocked at those words that I couldn’t speak.
“Well, say something Jenna!”
“None are true...” and I looked away
“Is it true? I don’t believe you—“
“What do you want?”
“Do you still love me?” I was shocked that he said that.
“No, I don’t. I never did. It was just a silly childhood crush”
“I don’t believe you, you’re mother said you cried. I’ll repeat again, do you still love me?”
Tears were suddenly pouring down my eyes.
“What do you want? Make my life miserable once again? Everything is just right then now you suddenly come back and complicate things once again.”
“Just right but not perfect...”
I am looking at him angrily but he is now looking at me, wearing that stupid smile on his face. The smile that means something just made him happy. I tried to look away from his gaze, that piercing stare that makes my stomach churn and my heart beat faster, but I stopped when he said those simple words:
“I love you Jenna”
“What did you say?”
“I said I love you...”
“You’re just hallucinating”
“But I do, when I went to Denmark I realized that I have loved you since then, that Marianne was just a cover of my true feelings.”
“You don’t—, you can’t—“
“But I have and I do. Now Jenna do you still love me? ‘Coz if you do I’ll be the happiest man on the earth, no the universe, I was stupid enough not to realize it sooner, and if you don’t I’ll do anything to—“, I put my finger on his lips and told him those special words he was anxious to hear for the last 10 minutes.
“I still love you Matt. God knows I tried to stop it and forget about it but I can’t...”
“I’m glad you didn’t, then marry me...” he brought out the ring.
“You have thought about everything have you?”
“Well, yeah, that’s why I went back remember? Now what?” he told me as he pulled me closer
“I will marry you Matt if you promise to be there always…”
“I promise…” He said as he kissed me and whispered to my ear:
“At last my heart has finally found home…”
*after I wrote this, I realized that the names I used for the main characters (Matt and Jenna) is similar to the ones used in the movie "13 going on 30" ah~ I absentmindedly used the names, but the plot is all mine*
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